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On Holiday

Posted by Ken in Ruminations (January 4, 2008 at 6:29 am)

“But they already saw the body!”

“I know, I know - just give me a minute to think this through.”

“There is nothing to think through. We’ll just have to kill them.”

“Kill them?”

“And make it look like an accident.”

“And how in the hell are we supposed to do that?”

“How the bloody hell am I supposed to know? Do you think I go around killing people everyday? Do you think I wake up and have some eggs and bacon, read the paper, and think, ‘Oh, I suppose I should think of ways to kill people today… You never know what the day will bring, after all…’? I am a data entry technician. I enter data into a computer. I am not a murderer!”

“But you said to kill them!”

“What else are we supposed to do?”

“We could talk to them. See if they can be persuaded to just… I don’t know… Forget the whole thing…”

“Forget they saw us hit a man’s car with our bus, which then exploded in a brilliant fireball,after which we proceeded to coax the location of 15 million pounds of illicit drug money out of a dying man who was still smoldering in the wreckage of his vehicle? We’re going to ask them to forget that?”

“Well, if we asked nicely…”

“You are a moron.”

“So it’s settled then. We kill them.”

“But we make it look like an accident.”

“Yes, like an accident.”

“I don’t know how I feel about actually… you know… killing a human being.”

“They’re not human - they’re American.”

“Trevor makes an excellent point.”

“So it’s settled. We kill them in a fashion that seems accidental, then collect the money, split it up amongst ourselves, and be done with it.”

“And you wanted to go to Australia for holiday.”


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