“I swear to you, I didn’t even know he was going to show up. I mean, how could I? He’s been a drunken recluse for, what, the last 15 years?

“But he did show up, didn’t he? And you let him walk right by you. Right. By. You. And not only did you let him walk right by you, you allowed him to speak with Byllcoraak.”

“But I didn’t know…”

“YOU. WILL. BE. SILENT! I have spent millennia on the bottom, and I will not allow incompetent fools like you to upset everything I’ve worked towards. Do you know what you get tired of, when you’re on the bottom?”

“N-no, I don…”

“i. said. to. be. silent. When you’re on the bottom, my friend. you get awfully tired of looking up. You want nothing more - no, you crave nothing more - than to have someone of your own to look down on. Someone to ever so gently grind under your heel. You, my friend, were the answer to my dream. And now, I’m going to have to get a new you. Do you realize how much of a drain on my precious time it is to not only kill you, but then have to find a replacement? Do you know how inconvenient that is?”

“Please, sir! I-I’ve got kids… a family… I won’t fail you again…”

“No, I don’t think you will…”

“Have a heart!”

“An excellent suggestion…”

It is impossible to be pointless.

Discuss.

My new band name.

Remind me to get a band.

“His name’s Byllcoraak. He runs a pub just up the road…”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Of course I am…”

“But he’s a demon…”

“That’s not always a bad thing, you know… In fact, he’s gotten me out of many a tight spot in the past…”

“When was the last time you talked to him?”

“Oh, years ago… Not since… Yeah, well, years ago…”

“Since what?”

“We had a bit of a falling out…”

“A falling out? Over what?”

“Oh, this… that… There was a misunderstanding, words were said, mistakes were made…”

“Mistakes?”

“Yeah, well, he kind of got consigned to a hell dimension for a few years…”

“What?!? What makes you think he’d want to see you again after something like that??”

“Because we go way back. I’m sure he understands that it wasn’t on purpose. We’ve been through worse.”

[Thomas and  Cameron enter the tavern, making their way past wary eyes to a private room in the back, within which is seated a large, bearded, jovial looking man in his late 60’s]

“WHO IS IT? Wait! I know that face…”

“Byll!!”

[Thomas rushes up to Byllcoraak, arms stretched wide, to greet his old friend]

“Thomas!!”

[Byllcoraak stands up, as Thomas approaches]

“Byll, we’re here to ask you a favor…”

[With a mighty force, Byllcoraak punches Thomas square in the face, dropping him to the floor]

“Ask away…”

In light of the previous post’s utterly disgraceful use of outrageous pretension and its sleep deprivation-fueled sense of self-importance, I leave you with this ego-deflating portrait of the author…

The world is not a ball

And space is nearly full

Time is nonexistent

With no push to pull

In a square world

Under a heavy sky

There is no time

And then you die.

I’m still the same.